A sneak peak into my inbox

There's no doubt talking about homosexuality, alone, will cause a stir. Add religion to the picture and you're in for a whirl of opinions and nonsense and anger. The opinion page at the newspaper I work for is a venue for, well, just that - opinions. I posted mine (the text from my last post) and here it is: http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2010/oct/18/zaimarie-de-guzman-given-the-way-we-treat-why-is/

Like a wise man once said, "Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone elses' stinks."

Well, apparently many people think my opinion stinks.

I can't blame 'em. I'm a young, Hispanic, liberal woman writing for a paper whose audience is predominantly old, white, Catholic, republican and male.

Here's a peak into some of the bad and the ugly mail I found in my inbox the days after my commentary was posted. Just some, because really, some of them are just long scriptures from the Bible. (Before you get tired of reading them, scroll down to see the best response I had)

• "I addressed it to the columnist who could not be bothered to gather facts before writing her column.  I would welcome  her reply.  I realize that the standard of writing at the Tribune grieves the hearts of English teachers everywhere.  But I had hoped that at least the basic principle of researching a subject before commenting on it still applied. Perhaps not."
• "What a terrible example of staff writing about the subject of gays by Zaimarie de Guzman (Oct. 19 column on gay suicide). The column had no purpose. It was more like an ice pick to an open wound that continues to bleed. It started as a whine about personal inconvenience, then rambled about the Catholic priest’s confirmation discussion and concluded with no conclusion. This column should have been categorized as a personal rant. The composition and sentence structure degraded the subject matter, which is very important to many interested readers. It was definitely below Press Journal standards of publishing. It can do better and usually does."
• "I respectfully disagree with your implication that gay suicides are the church's blame. People have free will. The church invites people to come to Jesus. God gives us the "rules" for coming to Jesus. The "true" churches, those that adhere to ALL God's commandments, precepts, instructions, etc, have no "wiggle room" for accepting any sinner who does not WILLINGLY turn from his sinful lifestyle into the "Body of Christ." Nothing unholy can come into the presence of God and Jesus is part of the trinity of God. Hence, nothing unholy can be part of a holy God, which ours is."
• "Your article in today's paper blaming the Catholic Church for Gay Suicides was unbelievably stupid.
  Obviously you don't believe in God and have never read the bible. Catholics find no problem with homosexuals as part of our society. The priest was absolutely right in his statements. If one is a Catholic one follows the church rules whether they are Gay or straight. Fornication or other sexual activity while unmarried, in our belief, is a sin. If one can't follow the rules, then don't join the church!
  I'm surprised that Scripps let this trash be published."
• "Regarding the Catholic Conference where people will get the "churche's" view on taboo subjects, that view is obviously biased and self serving. I am Catholic and heterosexual however the Catholic church
  has for hundreds of years sought after and maintained control over millions of people. While much of it is to the benefit of society, the controversial "gay" issue is just a denial of what nature has done to some people. Granted some of it is learned behavior, there is no doubt through generations the human nature of who we are is no different as to what can happen to us with genetic makeup. The church pretends and brainwashes it's followers much like all religions. It makes law according to the thinking of those empowered to interpret and set the rules of conduct and behaviour. The rules set for all to follow is fundamentaly rules to keep the people in the fold and maintain the support of those teaching the ideas of good vs evil. It does not matter what religion, the root of it all is power. Since we are brought up from day one with certain views, we are unlikely to change or give in to what may be deemed distorted behaviour. Today more than ever we see how it works from the opposite view
  where children in radically thinking countries are methodically going through the process of brainwashing by the empowered for the sole purpose of terrorist activity. The children believe and carry out their task. It is really no different than the teaching of people that anything other than heterosexual is wrong. The church and all other religions are not about to give up on something that
  keeps the "idea" alive. Herein is why we are all in denial."
• And, possibly the best/smartest criticism I got was:

• "Hmm. Telling gays not to act gay is like telling your dog to purr like a cat. Asking a church to accept and condone something that is against their foundational belief system would be different? What if the gathering was a room full of atheists and someone raised their hand and asked if it was ok to be a Christian in an attempt to demonize atheists? Give me a break. I completely support allowing gay couples the same social rights as heterosexual couples. Including having your life completely destroyed by lawyers and judges in divorce court over a state marriage license. What I don't support is the idea that every element of our society MUST accept or believe that homosexuality is normal or be ridiculed and demonized for it. I am disappointed that this priest (or any Christian minister) tried to be politically correct when being attacked for his beliefs."

 In my column, I referred to the teachings of the priest and mentioned my thoughts on it. Had I wanted to share my opinion on facts, I would have. Because of this, I made sure to cite the priest when referring to the Church. Either way, I actually did research the subject and found several scriptures and quotes from Catholic members. Each and everyone said something similar to what this priest said - homosexual desires are not in themselves sinful, but homosexual behavior is and should not be tolerated. The sole purpose of my words was to share my views on why society rejects gays. When our nation is based on a religion that says that homosexuals are immoral and wrong, how can we expect our people to think differently. Unfortunately, too many people don't take the time to form their own thoughts and opinions. I invite all to take a couple minutes of your time and ... think. Forget what you've been fed your whole life, forget the words that come from a book that some stranger wrote, forget what that person told you last Sunday. Do you really, honestly, in your heart, think it's perfectly fine to treat a human being with disrespect and hate because he or she has a sex life that is somewhat different than yours?

Anyway...


Of course I had to share the few good comments I got:

• You are a powerful writer, my friend. Very poignant op-ed that draws the reader in slowly and then Wham! So you have now had your first experience in public commentary. Big difference to reporting. When you express an opinion—as especially as one such as this— you have to be prepared for the reaction. But don’t let that stop you. It might sting a little, but doing and saying nothing to a thoughtful writer is even more painful.
• Great piece in the PJ Guest Column! I think people who have been out in the world and know that we need to be accepting of everyone appreciated your piece. There are some people in this community who’ve lived a very insulated life, haven’t had a diverse upbringing and feel threatened. So take their criticisms with a grain of salt.
• I am so proud to work for a paper that printed your anecdotal, incisive call for human rights. Telling your cat to bark like a dog perfectly illustrates ignorance about the origin of homosexuality. I know you opened up a lot of eyes, Zaimarie. Let's just hope they don't again close.

"Is it okay to be gay?"

Four months ago, I sat in a classroom of about 30 students. My hair was in a messy bun, my tired feet were in heels, and I was still in my work clothes at 8 p.m. Though I wished I could have gone straight home after work, I couldn't.
I had been asked by my brother and sister-in-law to become a Godmother to their beautiful twin boy, my nephew, Nicholas.
Of course, I said yes.
As a result, I had to sacrifice a day out of each week, for 14 weeks, to attend confirmation classes at a Catholic school.
The class was full of newly engaged, newly faithful and newly "I'm-only-here-'cause-I-gotta" people.
Some stared at the priest with open eyes and open hearts. They had just found their faith. Others glanced at their watches every minute, daydreaming of the second they'd step foot through the front door of their home.
I sat in my squeaky, rusted chair, and paid attention. I tried so hard not to nod my head in disapproval.
"Do you have any questions for me?" asked the priest in his thick "Miami accent."
This was probably the better part of the class. Mostly because it meant we were coming to an end, but also because curiosity was rushing through the minds of students, and only the brave would raise their hands to ask questions that seemed taboo in the strict, Catholic church room.
The students glanced around to see who dared to ask a question. One hesitant student raised her hand.
"Is it okay to be gay?" she asked.
Awkward silence filled the room. Every set of eyes rested on the girl. It was an "elephant in the room" kinda scene.
"Well," started the priest. I could tell he was thinking of the right words to say.
"The Church has acknowledged that homosexuals are a part of society. They have the right to be gay, but under Christian law, they cannot practice their sexuality."
What this priest was saying was that gays, lesbians and bisexuals are "permitted" to be those things. They just can't act like it. They can't perform in gay, lesbian or bisexual acts, despite being, in fact, gays, lesbians or bisexuals. It's just not - normal.
The Church, according to this priest, says that human sexuality exists purely for procreation. Humans are put on this earth to make babies, and therefore all of those who have the ability to conceive, must.
And that, as we know it, is why homosexuals must engage in heterosexual activities.
It's like telling your dog to purr like a cat.
Interesting concept, huh?
Not quite.
It's the good ol' American concept. The societal norm that allows the government to exclude homosexuals from rights all other "normal" people are given.
The concept that has hindered gays, lesbians and bisexuals. Bullied them, if you will.
America judges people because of whom they've decided to love and have sex with.
America has decided that what goes on in our bedrooms is its business.
And then, from time to time, another kid shows up on the news for being picked on about his sexuality and driven to depression or even suicide.
Society gets all rattled up, shocked and saddened.
Why are we so surprised? And why do we fail to realize who is to blame?

The following is text from the Human Rights Campaign:

It's 2010 and almost 90% of LGBT youth experience harassment in school, and too many lives have been lost.



It's 2010 and you can still be fired from your job in 29 states for being lesbian, gay or bisexual and in 38 states for being transgender.



It's 2010 and only five states plus DC recognize that love, not gender, is what matters in a marriage.



It's 2010 and more than 14,000 service members have been discharged from the military under the failed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law.



It's 2010 and the government's failure to recognize LGBT families for immigration purposes tears bi-national couples and families apart.